the perks of an addiction.

sleeping on what has become a tougher decision than what i thought it was. i really don't like all the upset i feel i have already caused, i know some people did their best, i didn't plan on voicing my opinion on any of this. i was planning to take it in stride and keep smiling like i always do. why didnt i just smile and act like everything was okay?
put another tally on the list of things on ashley's mind. funny how getting rid of the aforementioned one could easily take care of one, if not two, more issues for me at the moment. but there would still be a long list remaining... one being more prominent than any that i am far too scared to tackle and take care of when the longer i wait the worse off i am going to be... how have i suddenly totally lost control of my life again? things i have always joked about are becoming a reality.

this is when being a heroin addict would come in handy.