oh sometimes i laugh aloud all by myself in hutch really loudly...

i do love being me sometimes. the sad thing is what actually provoked this laughter, which i just realized really is not that funny, but to me it was a second ago. but maybe if you followed the small chain of events that happened in like 30 seconds you would have laughed too. hmmm... i am not comfortable with a recent statement, and i have no way of doing anything about it. this is what spurred the laughter. if i try and explain anymore i am going to make even myself realize how retarded i am so i shall refrain.
i am just wasting time. it is fun to people watch in hutch, in fact, i think it is one of my favoirte places to people watch. there is always so much going on, and you really can partially figure out a lot of what all that is, and i love watching people look for people, that cracks me up often. it is really cold though, i am sitting up on the elevated stagelike part and i think cold air is like blowing on me. my toes are quite chilly. a man is wearng a skirt. a man is wearing a skirt. he has no shoes. ummmm... no, it was not a kilt. ummm. interesting.
i do not feel like four hours of work!! i just want to go home and sleep!! also, i really need more homework, like i have spent two hours wasting my life, and really feel that i should be doing work, but i really have none to do. it is kind of absurd. i need to get myself some sort of partner in crime, guy, girl, cat, goose, i do not care, just someone to spend and waste all my time with. perhaps i should get out more and try meeting someone new. but what is the point of socializing at this school? yeah, exactly. i'm gonna continue my hold on that.
so i was eating some dried fruit trail mix and i put some stuff in my mouth that i did not notice was banana chips, and then i was like oh no, i don't want to eat banana chips, but then i continued chewing and guess what? turns out i actually like banana chips after all. this is my daily excitement. i know, sad. but think of all the banana chips i do not have to waste anymore? well, i never really wasted them, as long as i had someone to give them too, but you're not always in teh company of those that enjoy banana chips when you are eating dried fruit trail mix. but now i will always be, because i am one of those people. actually, i think i will still give them away if other people like them, just out of principle and tradition. i mean, a whole life of giving away banana chips cannot just be thrown away with just this on small realization. ok, so no, that did not really make sense. but my logic arguments have never been known for being strong or sensical. ahem.
i think i may go home saturday to go to the appple orchard for cider and donuts. and i know that sounds super ridiculous, but then again, knowing myself, it really is far from ridiculous. but i wouldn't even be able to enjoy teh fact that it is k's homecoming because i woudl have to be back early sunday for mock, and well, i really hate driving and/or sitting through mock meetings while hungover.
so i just killed some guy walking by me on my way back from the washroom in order to say hello to danny. well, it wasn;t in order to, more so a result of it. but then i just kind of rushed away becaus ei felt bad, and now i feel bad for rushing away from danny. oh good, someone just sat down next to him, so he is not alone. yay.
i think i have really been detached from my music lately. like, i listen to music constantly, but i don't have anything that is like being played all the time or i am totally in love with for teh moment, it's like i have nothing to connect it to... am i really that empty inside? i sure hope not, but that is how i feel most often i guess. or maybe not. i do not really know. i do not understand myself lately. as i seem really happy most of the time, and i am, but there are liek 5 minutes spans of time where it all just falls apart. but then its over, and i'm ok again. it is confusing, and hard. i mean, i know most of things that trigger it, but they are unavoidable for the most part, unless i, well, they are unavoidable, and that is that.
i think a trip to meijer might be in order tonight. it just sounds really nice. i wouldnt get there until like 11, but that is the joy of meijer after all, right? oh meijer. how i do miss thee. haha, i think besides about five people that live there, one of the only other things i miss on a daily basis about kalamazoo is meijer. haha. how sad.
i have typed an excessive amount about myself today between several long emails and now this. i am begining to feel selfish. so i am done. and off to work... god i hope i dont have to call SSD people again... please oh please...