what a day.

i had a very loooong afternooon. searching for a goat in chicago is tough. a fake goat. a stuffed goat. actually, any kind of goat would have probably sufficed the longer my search went on. I also wasnt just searching for a goat. however, i think i had a really weird and/or bitchy look on my face all day... i started out on the north side and when i was at the pier1 in old town this guy that worked there, actually everyone that worked there was really weird to me. and the whole day was kind of like that. i found a mini-goat, and i found the body butter stuff i needed. both were found in the west suburbs however. spending so much time there today made me question my enthusiasm for returning home... i do not think i enjoy the suburbs as much i like to tell myself. it is kind of dull. i mean, well, i dont know. it just wasnt setting right today. but the whole day was kind of weird. i mean, the shopping half. i have been up since 6, and i got 2 hours of sleep. so my morning kind of feels seperate from my afternoon. i really wish i would have been smart and gone straight to the suburbs and therefore have skipped my visit to old town. it didn't help. by any means. plus i had to use a surcharge atm today. that sucked. seriously.
BLAGH!! that is how i feel. i just want to go to bed. but i dont really feel like waking up right now. i dont really feel like sleeping though either. and im having like hot flashes or something. i should have hung out with suman tonight.
urgh. and i have to clean this whole damn apartment so candace doesn't think we don't want her here when she comes. cause right now she doesnt have any space really.
can i scream? i would like to scream right now.
oh man. sometimes songs come on at just the right time. that was almost creepy. like the second i started to breath in to scream this song came on. a good song. a song that has never ceased to hold happy memories... there are few songs i can say that for anymore it seems sometimes.
oh geez. now i just realized something else. fuck december.
except jesus. i love jesus. jesus is the man.
i fear that attempted recovery only damned me to hell sooner.
time to go bother people who still have work to do.