an ode

so tonight i went to go see closer with lindsey. the movie? very intriguing. i think it still may be sinking in. i don't think that there is any person in this world i would have rather seen it with. julia roberts played an interesting role. i liked her in it. i think i even liked the movie. there were some interesting moments and scenes that i really liked. and on the whole, well, i'll get back to you on that. afterwards i went over to her house and we talked for awhile. it was really really nice. i miss her. and the sad thing is that even if we hung out excessively on breaks... it just won't ever be enough... i mean, the only equivalent to the amount of time you spend with someone when you go to high school with them is being their rommate... and not only are we not rommates, we don't even live in the same state. The fabulous and wonderful however... when we do hang out, and talk... we still understand each other perfectly... or a least as much as we ever did. and i still know what she's thinking as i explain to her stories pertaning to closets and late night drama... (ie while explaining the crazy notions she gets planted in her head). she has quit mock. i am proud of her. although she will miss it... but extra stress just isn't necessary in our already absurdly busy lives. indeed. indeed.
so, because i believe that this space is my outlet on life, i don't exacrly paint a clear or complete picture of my life. that woud make this an entirely different type of space...more of an autobiography than a journal... well, that is my opnion. i do not mean to make people worry or think ill of me. i just need someplace to vent... and it's sort of fun to let others view it if they wish i guess.

here is my ode to a wonderful and wise woman i know:
i am not dead, nor dying. i am quite healthy, all health concerns that have arised this quarter have passed. well, i have this bump on my heel that i may have surgery on, but that isn't really in the same tier as vomitting blood and what not. i study tons, many days i spend more than five hours in the library. my classes went really well this quarter, i am really enjoying school, much less stressed than last year. i have a very cluttered apartment, and we don't do dishes very often, but i make sure the dishes i use are clean so i am not at risk for food poisoning or any oher food-born illness. i eat plenty. i bathe plenty. i excercise a lot, but not plenty. i only go out when i have very littel homework, or none at all. i usually do not wake up in closets, and i will never wake up in a closet again, unless i am a poor starving artist and i can't afford anything but renting our my rich friend's walk in closet. drugs are bad, especially crack. andrew also believes drugs are bad. perhaps even more so than i. socially i am quite happy. everything will be much more normal next quarter with candace, paula, and jon (!!! he better!!!) back in chicago. candace will take good care of me. life is looking optimistic in other aspects of my social life as well... optimistic, happy and healthy. also, i am staying warm. although i do sleep with the window open no mattr how cold it is outside. is that unhealthy? it helps me sleep more comfortably, as i think i have hot flashes often otherwise. i swear too much, but i am trying to cut back. sometimes i stay up all night because i like to take my time on papers, and i like to procrastinate a little but too. but this quarter i do not have 8:30 classes, so i will not have such poor and unhealthy sleep patterns. and i love my parents.

last coat of paint tomorrow! (mark my words...)
why have the majoirty of my friends since i went to college all been older than me, specifically older than 21? hmph. stupid america.
oh winter break... you are slipping away so quickly.
oh new years? what am i doing new years eve? i do not know. ("what are you doing new year's eve? (that wa ssupposed to be sung, liek teh song)

oh epds. you will be the death of me.