love.

what a fickle thing. you always think you understand it until a second later.

...i think i may have thought i knew what love was in kindergarten - maybe that explains how my life unfolded. I know I thought I knew what love was in high school, and I clearly thought I knew what love was in college. I'm not saying that now I think I didn't. It's just amazing how love changes, or how you love, or what you think of love. I don't know, it is all just very interesting to me. Especially watching other people figure out love, or believe that they are involved in it.

I just don't know. I just don't know.

Tonight was the glengarry avenue 3rd annual Holiday Cookie Exchange, and my mother and I decided to go, our neighbor across the street asked us. It was much more of an event than I had imagined it would be. I did uncover in the course of the evening what it was exactly that i drank last december that paved the way for my waking up in a closet experience - all it took was one whiff and the memory was crystal clear. There were probably 6 or 7 sets of neighbors there, it was nice, lots of my neighbors are very old, but they were drinking grogg and butter rum nevertheless, and it was funny, to me. This one guy graduated from northwestern in 1950, and he was great company. I just realized I will be graduating from college 57 years after him... that is serious! I feel. My neighbor across the street, recently separated from her husband, the police chief, after several glasses of wine started to tell everyone about finding the love letters that were being written between him and the woman he was having the affair with... I wanted to be on the price is right and yell "that's too much!" but i refrained. We left soon after, she stopped drinking as well, that was key.

Christmas shopping tomorrow! But first the dentist, and they are going to tell me bad news, I just know it. It's just not fair. Especially with how much of a tooth nazi I can be. So frustrating.

I believe in Santa Claus whole heartedly, is that weird? I also believe in Bob Barker.