a recent life lesson

dear ashley,

if you are going to not drink very often, that's great. i commend the fact that you have only drank about 4 times in the last 8 weeks. however, you must remember your tolerance will be much lower, and is in fact much lower, than it used to be when you were a lush in years past. consequently, you need to start consuming proper amounts of alcohol given your tolerance level on those occasions you do choose to drink. the amount you used to drink and just be delighfully bubbly now causes you to be rather, well, drunk. since i know you hate being drunk, and that has not been your goal in any of the last 4 drinking occasions, please adjust your alcohol consumption to the proper rate. have a delightful and not appalling day.

love,
ashley