weirdness.

just finished watching a "documentary" of my three best friends and i the summer after my junior year with two of the three said friends. i had no idea 3.5 years ago could still make me feel so uneasy and... embarassed, maybe?

i was such an awful girlfriend. that is really all i have to say.


agh i feel like i need to take shower or something.

not that there weren't plenty of good wholesome and hearty laughs.
but still.
WEIRD.

RIP nipsey

i'm pourin' out liquor for ya nip.

santa claus is comin'...

Rumor has it Santa Claus is coming to Christmas Eve at our house this year... I have never seen the real Santa in person, so I am very excited.

Appropriately, again:

From the Editorial Page of The New York Sun, written by Francis P. Church, September 21, 1897:

"We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor--I am 8 years old.

Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.

Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.'

Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon

115 West Ninety-fifth Street

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood."

happy birthday lindsey smith.

I don't read a lot of blogs, and not very often do they make me laugh or strike me as funny at all.
not today. its 2:30 am and i am laughing aloud all alone in my room. it's a nice reminder that i wasnt crazy.
there were reasons.

can you believe she's 21?
I wish I could have located her today. I only called her like 345 times...
I really thought she was supposedto be back today.
HMMMM.

meanwhile, i had a productive day. but really, what day hasnt been since i got home? Thats me, productive Suzie.
My name is not Suzie.
I don't think I'd name my kid Susan, fyi.
I do think Suzie is cute though.

tomorrow is christmas eve eve eve!!
how exciting.
we also get our new carpeting tomorrow. my mom finished installing the hardwood floor last week.
she is a little bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyy bee.

my computer thinks AIM is open 5 times, when in fact, it won't let me open it at all.
bitches.

time flies.

love.

what a fickle thing. you always think you understand it until a second later.

...i think i may have thought i knew what love was in kindergarten - maybe that explains how my life unfolded. I know I thought I knew what love was in high school, and I clearly thought I knew what love was in college. I'm not saying that now I think I didn't. It's just amazing how love changes, or how you love, or what you think of love. I don't know, it is all just very interesting to me. Especially watching other people figure out love, or believe that they are involved in it.

I just don't know. I just don't know.

Tonight was the glengarry avenue 3rd annual Holiday Cookie Exchange, and my mother and I decided to go, our neighbor across the street asked us. It was much more of an event than I had imagined it would be. I did uncover in the course of the evening what it was exactly that i drank last december that paved the way for my waking up in a closet experience - all it took was one whiff and the memory was crystal clear. There were probably 6 or 7 sets of neighbors there, it was nice, lots of my neighbors are very old, but they were drinking grogg and butter rum nevertheless, and it was funny, to me. This one guy graduated from northwestern in 1950, and he was great company. I just realized I will be graduating from college 57 years after him... that is serious! I feel. My neighbor across the street, recently separated from her husband, the police chief, after several glasses of wine started to tell everyone about finding the love letters that were being written between him and the woman he was having the affair with... I wanted to be on the price is right and yell "that's too much!" but i refrained. We left soon after, she stopped drinking as well, that was key.

Christmas shopping tomorrow! But first the dentist, and they are going to tell me bad news, I just know it. It's just not fair. Especially with how much of a tooth nazi I can be. So frustrating.

I believe in Santa Claus whole heartedly, is that weird? I also believe in Bob Barker.

some pressing issues

1) my brother and I won 15 games in a row of beer pong as partners on Saturday night

2) i have been doing paperwork or manual labor for my mother for my last 22 waking hours.

3) i found $1.25 in my snowpants this morning (making my total life savings now equal $1.25)

4) for some old people, "panera is the best thing since sex"

And just for kicks, i've been meaning to post this gem of us karaoking to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" on the yacht, for awhile now. We are a passionate people.
5)

jt and liberty are going to have a baby. (that's italian for the most pointless post ever)

liberty is keeping the baby. liberty should not even be pregnant.
this is f-ing ridiculous.
and james tiberius is getting seriously yelled at by his grandmother.
unbelievable.

In other news, perhaps of the real variety, it feels amazing to be done with fall quarter. While, as discussed, it makes us one away from out last fall quarter ever, it is a relief. Never will I allow for two huge finals and a paper to be on one day. Actually, let's calculate, my geography final was 50% of my final grade, my geography paper was the other 50% of my grade, and my polisci final was 60% of my grade. Almost half of my fall quarter grade was decided yesterday. thats serious shit. I did however receive news of a solid A as my final grade in latin. Which is nice to know.

now he's dealing oxycodone.

i wish my cold would just take full charge for a day and go away, or just go away. agh! i have seen a bunch of movies in the meantime. I watched chevy chase's christmas vacation, everafter, donnie brasco, and more that ive already

oh. oh, now he's taking oxycodone.

tomorrow is the uc vs k college bball game, and since babsketball is the only sport candace and i have ever taken the time to wholeheartedly support at this school - well, we support the women's soccer coach, but i think we feel pretty negative about the team - i think i shall go. apparently its some sort of aluni function for k, which is odd to me, but whatev.

oh, now he might be dead. this is going well.

i wonder what curious smells like.
this has really been pointless. sorry.

oh he lived. and she's giving it up now.
Phew.

p.s. no call this year. or drunk dial. delightful.

"ARTV" wtf.

DONE

i am DONE. ommfg.

my apartment looks like a cyclone came through last night.

i have gotten 6 hours of sleep total since that last post.

the end.

i LOVE the REG.

actually i really do. i mean, where else could i be successfully writing a paper at 4:14 in the morning?

ONLY at the REG.

all nighters are invigorating for the soul!

I'm on hour 17 at the Reg, and page 3 of a paper I had to even consider begining when I got here.

I think I'm happy with these results.

back to babbling bitches.

it's true.

oh what a day. I always dread the trip downtown, and then when I make it I remember how much I love it. I spent about an hour at the Chicago Cultural Center, an hour at the Art Institute and about 3 hours at the Historical Society today. so great. This could have something to do with me being a huge nerd. I loved the exhibit at the CCC, and I haven't been to the Art Institute in weeks, so that was clearly delightful, and the Historical Society was just a whole new barrel of monkey fun.

I also heart yet hate the CTA so very very much. it supplies so much entertainment, through eavesdropping that is. yet, so much annoyance, and frustration through LATEness, oh the 55 ...I was on the red line a lot today. I also walked a lot, instead of taking buses. I hate buses. Except the 6 and 2. Those, I love.

Yes, if I love them so much, why don't I marry them?
(I bet I have a good answer for that)

Mock is consuming me more and more. which is interesting. consuming me in the sense that i spend a lot of time dealing with it and my team, not like, i dream about it and feel the need to connect with mockers across the nation and just become totally ridiculous. more like, i spend about three times as much time doing mock as i do homework and class. which, is serious. clearly.

my brother is begging me to play beer pong. and had i not just consumed a stomach full of sweets and feel a bit sick i would, but i just don't think it would be the best decision. i really do want to though, in case it matters. i mean, i clearly need the practice, for i am not using the home turf advantage to its fullest potential. of this i am sure.
also, if i keep my life going like it has these past 12 months, i am actually still going to have a healthy liver when i am 40. which, let's be honest, just wasn't looking too promising last fall.
i'd say there is a 60% chance i will be peer pressured into this before the night is over. however, i failed at peer pressuring candace to go out with me tonight, so i shouldn't let someone else's peer pressuring get me. it's just not fair. then again.
what is.