happy new year

i hate Guess at crossroads mall. actually, i hate crossroads mall.

but i did spend lots of money there. and i got four wonderful new sweaters. i am pleased.

i must get ready to go out for the evening. it is my last night as an omnivore. my hair may be in need of some attention. it has a hump. i hate humps.

here's to a splendid evening and wonderful new year.

that is all.

finally

someone may or may not have been asking me for quite sometimes to see pictures of our new kitchen. so while they may not be of teh greatest interest, here they are. also that is my ipod cover-holder that i made and am quite happy and proud of. that is all.
also, i love oprah. everyone shoudl love oprah.

i am eighty years old. and this is eighty pages long. what a coincidence. indeed.

i am not lying. I knitted all day today, and i may have knitted for a significant portion of my day yesterday. I was knitting mittens, for maddy, but after finishing both of them , i decided i didnt like them. so now 15 hours later i do not know what i shall do. I made myself and ipod case/cozy/thing this evening. it really is awesome, i wont lie. I will have to put up a picture of it with my new kitchen someday. it is burgundy, sunshine yellow, and orange striped. if it iwasnt for the orange it would be very griffyndorish, which would be fitting since i knitted it tonight whiel watching the third harry potter with my mom. it was joyful. howeer, i retain my original feelings owards teh movie, i hate how much they changed it and i hate the ending. i really hate the ending fyi. i also went to meijer and returned bottles and saw mrs smith but after calling out "helllo mrs smith!" three times and her not turning aroun di decided i could i eithe rrun down the aisle after her or forget it. and i chose the latter, hopefully i will see her tomorrow as lindsey and i will be hanging out. maybe with dave as well. that is not for sure, but our intentions. i saw lindsey in target after seeing mrs smith in meijer. then i went strolling about target fo quite sometime... i ended up buying two belts. well not reallt belts in the traditional sense, but teh scarfy sashy belts. on black and one a pattern of tanish, pinkish, and creamish tones. i also went for a couple mile run today. with a mile or less walk in the middle. the cold air was not kind to my lungs today. I was dying after a littel mor ethan a mile, sadly, and so i took a detour and walked a bit, and then picked back up on the route and ran home. my lungs hurt all afternoon and evening. i think i am back to full capcity however. thank jesus.

so yesterday i didnt do anything either. well, in the moning i went to the bank, got my haircut, got gas, went to the centennial store for my headpiece and to hobby lobby for yarn. then i knitted all afternoon, and then around ninish i went to see Life Aquatic with andrew. and then i came home and may have knitted some more. it was enjoyable. i laughed quite loudly throughout the enitre thing. i would recomend it. i mean, it was odd, but funny. i retuned home to an instant message from the lands of costa rica., for some reason it really shocked me that costa rica had internet access. i mean, especially in abundant enough supply for tourists to just be able to get online and use AIM. but clearly i do not know much.

my brother went home today... i got my last christmas present from him about two hours after he left. the long last package for "glenfarry" finally arrived. it was exactly what i wanted/needed for hours of enjoyment this quarter. many, many, nintendo games all at the touch of a button out of a controller that plugs into the tv, no consoles or anything. i even have a gun to play duckhunt with. i played paperboy for awhiel this afternoon... my skills are extremely rusty with ye old paper route. i will return though. he droe his new car home. well not new, but new to thsi family. i wonder if i will randomly come across his car as randomly as i watched it be stolen. that would be crazy. indeed.

i havent said much about christmas i guess. it was wonderful, i of course got everything i could have eve wanted or asked for, and proabbly more. it was a very pleasant holiday in the boven household.
i have an online music buying disease. it is not healthy for my bank accounts.
i leave for italy in less than three months!
i leave kalamazoo in less than four days...
oh ashley...
does it bother people when people refer to themsleve sin third person? it bothers me, but sometime si do it anyway, cause i feel it necessary or somthing perhaps.

i think andrew and i will be going shopping or something similar to shopping tomorrow afternoon. this is good. i need something at best buy that i cannot remember. and i need to return my brother's watch to Guess for my mom.

also, i was feeling quite down earlier tonight on my way home from meijer, and i don't really know why. i think it was thinking to much all day, with such minimal social interaction that happens. it started off as a happy thinking day, but that always leads down the worng path, but i got myself back overly happy and pleased with life as a whole. in fact, i would easily say i have not been this happy in life in quite sometime. a really really really long time. i mean, i have been fine and dandy and "happy" for several months now, or at least a couple... but i am finally getting beyond the average mental happiness quota. this is a good thing i would have to imagine. but who knows, i have grown to lack faith in good things, all good things must eventually end after all. well that is what i am told anyway. i really cannot belive how soon i will be out of the country for three months. .. and will probably be coming home to a new more permanent type home (ie, an apartment) in chicago. who knows though. my fondness for kalamazoo is much more present i think than it has been in the last year or two.
oh my! how i can just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. if i read that last sentence and wasnt the one who wrote it i would have an urge to beat up the person who wrote it due to its high level of retardation.

i can teach you, but i'll have to charge

someday i will have to study myself. write a paper on myself. i think it would be fascinating. i mean, i am just a nut. that is all.

damn right it's better than yours.

ooooooooweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
automatic supersonic.

ok. i am just going to be done now.
also,
actually, nevermind. not the apporopiate forum.

that is all.

cheers!

so it certainly doesn't look like us, but it's only the idea and feeling that matters after all...

agreed.

a wonderful day.
tomorrow will be busy.
perhaps several trips to the mall and westnedge as a whole.
i am not complaining.
i wonder if brad and jason are planning for us to go at an early (meaning before 1) hour.
i should have inquired.
i mean, i doubt it.
oh well.
no rush.
well,
we'll see.
hmm.
merry christmas.
indeed.

i do so love the holidays.

merry christmas eve...

From the Editorial Page of The New York Sun, written by Francis P. Church, September 21, 1897:

"We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor--I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.'
Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Virginia O'Hanlon
115 West Ninety-fifth Street

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood."

its a beautiful day in the neighborhood

merry christmas eve!!!

1) it is snow squalling in my front yard, and blue skies and sunny in my backyard. i love michigan.
2) i am extremely happy.
3) i meant that not due to events of the morning thus far but rather for my life in general at the moment.
4) i have to go roll meatballs. mmmmm!

that is all for now.

i have confirmation that my mom did not suspect any sort of intoxication.

also

i was just about to watch a movie (love actually) when i relaized my phone needed charging. i couldnt find it anywhere in my room or the kitchen or teh dining room. so i decided to call it. it was in my parents room on the bed next to my mother. it woke her up. i somehow managed to drop it when i was in there... this is not detrimental to my case by any means, but it didnt help it i feel.

oh what to blog, what to blog...?

for such a funiferous day i do not have much to say... meet the fockers was indeed funny, i enjoyed it. chili's was delicious. i had chicken tacos. mmmm. then we bowled 8 games. i only won once. i also only broke a hunded once. yes, very sad, i know. i think my mom thinks i came home drunk or in some way not sober. i was perhaps overly cheery to her compared to when i usually wake her up to tell her i am home, and i haven't given her a goodnight kiss after arriving home in months, but that was fine, i mean, sometimes people are just in good moods... it was when i went into my room and was taking my pants off and fell over, crashing to the floor, which i followed up with hysterical laughing. it was at that point i suspct she may have begun to hypothesize my lack of sobriety. however, i am as sober as it gets, but i certainly was not going to go in and try and talk to her more to prove that, as i felt it would only make her more suspicious. but i hope she doesnt actually think i am, i mean, if she is going to suspect it i would like it to at least be true. anyhow, it was agood afternoon/evening/night. i also may have left candace a message on my way home that is also going to sound really ridiciulous, but i was totally expecting her to answer and when she didnt i just started talking and talkiing her voicemail, i think i wished her a mery christmas and happy new year several times, and i told her to have a good/safe trip even more times. poor thing, spending christams in south america... a tough life i tell you. also, i saw robhi magotti at K10, he was looking quite well, he was quite happy to see me as always, as was i, him.
i need to mak sure someone puts effort into some sort of get together before i go back, like a ashley, lindsey, carla, mollie, lukasz, ryan, andrea, etc. get together. maybe carla will have the go-get-'em spirit and take the initiative. cause i am not sure that i have it in me this year.

oh dear. what am i going to do with myself? actually, i shouldn't sound distressed or upset in the least, as i truly am not at all... i'm just don't really know what i am. besides sober of course. haha. and happy. oh dear me...

blast this christmas music... its joyful and triumphant...

not the michelle falls off a horse and gets amneisa episode.

full house

so i figured my life out. basically, i watched full house everyday, sometimes twice a day, since i was like 4 years old, or maybe earlier. somehow in there their way of life was engrained in my head. so dj is like my hero i guess. i dont know, the point is that everytime i have watched full house in the last two years i usually find myself tearing up at the end of the episode. yes, i should not be proud of this, it is indeed quit pathetic. however, i figured out that it is just because in some weird way every episode has already taken place in my life. i know im be totally retarded rightnow, but i think its true.
how dissapointing is it that you figure out your life is based on a tv show? a really poorly performed one at that?

christmas eve eve eve

today, wednesday, is christmas eve eve eve. this excites me
yesterday, tuesday, was liindsey's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDSEY! she is 20. scary. yes.
however, the majority of teh people i know well are well over 20, so i do not know why i keep finding these 20 year birthdays scary. jon is turning 21 soon. now that, my friend, is scary. hmm, still doesnt make sense.
i had my foot doctor appointment. it appears both of my heels have "pump bumps." if they get bigger i will have to have srugery on them which has a 5-8 week recovery (in cast, not walking) time. and i have an excuse to get new tennishoes! that was the good part of the outcome.
afterwards i went shopping with andrew. i am done christmas shopping, so i bought stuff for myself. i also searched all of best buy for a single super troopers dvd and i (and three other best buy employees) came up with nothing (i hate the mvie, fyi). and i bought myself the who ultimate collection. this made me happy.
when i got home i went ove rto lindseys to give her the gutter and bday present. it was enjoyable as always. indeed.
i painted all night. it is a christmas present for someone. but i cannot say who. i would post a picture of it, but once again, it must stay a secret. i cant believe i apunted fo rso long... it was 7:30 and then suddenly it was 1 am. boom. well, i got mostly finsihed (as good as its going to get by christmas anyway). i hope this person likes it, cause i know i do.
my mom committed another crime against motherhood tonight. she ws going to take a tin of peanut brittle over to "her buddy." her buddy being someone who is basically entirely undeserving of my mothers love, regardless of if he is not a bad person (that was her argument). it was like the A minus on my paper, which i got an A on fyi. maybe i am being absurd here. but oh well, its not as if i would really care at all. i suppos eit woul donly increase guilt on the other end, and while i dont really care, i dont really have a problem seeing hurt/pain/suffering/guilt, etc inflicted on some people.
tomorrow meet the fockers comes out! andrew and i are going in teh afternoon. we have quite the day ahead of us. hopefully i can handle it. cause today iw a sdefinitely striggling with just like 2 hours of shopping. i think i was just alcking sleep. speaking of which, i should probably get some. but meh.
sometimes i feel like i am sixteen and in the fall of my junior year of high school. and it is begining to be ridiculous. when have i ever been known to be passive or shy?
hmph.
i am tired.
i guess i dont have what it takes to be a racoon.
damn.

liar!

i lied, i think i may be overly pleased with my grades... i got an A in polisci it appears... the grade based solely on my paper that i spent three days straight at the reg writing. an A on a paper?? this is ridiculous!

lions and tigers and bears

OH MY!
i actually didnt intend for that to be in caps but then i must have hit caps lock so i just ran with it.

i am tired. i have been up before 10 am for three days in a row now, and still have not gone to bed before 4am but for thursday night. this means, after my week of 9 to 10 hours of sleep a day, i am feeling very sleep deprived. plus i am bored as death himself. actually, i would imagine death has a good time in life. meh. bored as a fish in a fishbowl in a blue secluded room. there.

what an odd weekend. i am really happy with the state of my mental health i discovered, which i was not entirely confident in, at all. but last night tested it and i kicked its ass. in fact, i don't really think i would change anything about last night. if only i had been given sanity a year ago... well actually, that would have me in an entirely different and perhaps even more insane situation right now, so learning all that i have the hard and excrucuatingly painful and slow way was definitely for the better. i just can't get over how happy i was when i got home last night, and happy because i knew exactly where i stood menatlly and emotionally, not because of anything that did or did not take place. i am now totally confident in my detachment from all the mess that kalamazoo has meant to me for the last year, and longer. i had begun to wonder if what i perceived as my own strength and healthy mindedness was only because of a lack of having to face what has always accentuated my weaknesses and insanity, as well as the overshadowing of it (and distraction from it) by other new home associated situations. but basically, i rock, jean l. rocks, and i have never felt more at peace concerning this situation since freshman year of high school. damn this is fabulous. perhaps this shoudlnt make me so happy - being devoid of basically all emotion towards a human being - but i am. one more to go and i am on my way to having a chance at a normal and sane life and relationship one day.

oh dear. i have doen nothing all day. i wrapped a lot presents, and discovere di spent way too much on christmas as usual. oh teh joys of shopping therapy.

i am done now.

why am i so inept at writing?

my grades = me not happy
ARGH

long day.

central
mrs. ransford, "i would have been able to afford a 4 year college if all the damn migrant workers didnt get teh scholarships...i got wrongly acccused of cheating n a test thanks to the mexican sitting besides me" (her getting out of jury duty for a hispanic defendant)
mr. cahow, "so have their been any significant others in your lives this past year ladies?"
chewbacca = almost crying
kamsc
streeter (grabs my hands), "so i got back from seeing you a few weeks ago and i was told congratulations were in order... where's the hardware?" (me, "errr...") "oh, well, then double congatulations are in order!!"
(me, well i'm not really going the math or science route) dr. goudie, "well we all knew it wasn't your thing when you were here!"
anybody and evrybody, "so i heard..."

i think we all get the point. the day could have gone a bit more pleasingly. however, it really could have been worse. and teh joy of seeing eveyrone kind of washed out any of the little stuff i had to deal with. but a lot of peopel arent hoem from school yet. and that makes me sad. but a get together has been discussed (rather strangely in fact, as lindsey witnessed...)

tonight was a good night, as was expected. there was certainly unexpectedness as well. lots of food intake. saw spanglish. made me laugh, made me cry (much more than expected). more food intake. saw a crazy boy running around a large building in brown shoes (kids these days).
and well, i think this is all i have to say for now on that. but very good indeed.

this is the new color...

NCBuy Weird News: "Crack Ho" and "Hoochie" Added To Oxford Dictionary - 2004-12-15

NCBuy Weird News: "Crack Ho" and "Hoochie" Added To Oxford Dictionary - 2004-12-15

an ode

so tonight i went to go see closer with lindsey. the movie? very intriguing. i think it still may be sinking in. i don't think that there is any person in this world i would have rather seen it with. julia roberts played an interesting role. i liked her in it. i think i even liked the movie. there were some interesting moments and scenes that i really liked. and on the whole, well, i'll get back to you on that. afterwards i went over to her house and we talked for awhile. it was really really nice. i miss her. and the sad thing is that even if we hung out excessively on breaks... it just won't ever be enough... i mean, the only equivalent to the amount of time you spend with someone when you go to high school with them is being their rommate... and not only are we not rommates, we don't even live in the same state. The fabulous and wonderful however... when we do hang out, and talk... we still understand each other perfectly... or a least as much as we ever did. and i still know what she's thinking as i explain to her stories pertaning to closets and late night drama... (ie while explaining the crazy notions she gets planted in her head). she has quit mock. i am proud of her. although she will miss it... but extra stress just isn't necessary in our already absurdly busy lives. indeed. indeed.
so, because i believe that this space is my outlet on life, i don't exacrly paint a clear or complete picture of my life. that woud make this an entirely different type of space...more of an autobiography than a journal... well, that is my opnion. i do not mean to make people worry or think ill of me. i just need someplace to vent... and it's sort of fun to let others view it if they wish i guess.

here is my ode to a wonderful and wise woman i know:
i am not dead, nor dying. i am quite healthy, all health concerns that have arised this quarter have passed. well, i have this bump on my heel that i may have surgery on, but that isn't really in the same tier as vomitting blood and what not. i study tons, many days i spend more than five hours in the library. my classes went really well this quarter, i am really enjoying school, much less stressed than last year. i have a very cluttered apartment, and we don't do dishes very often, but i make sure the dishes i use are clean so i am not at risk for food poisoning or any oher food-born illness. i eat plenty. i bathe plenty. i excercise a lot, but not plenty. i only go out when i have very littel homework, or none at all. i usually do not wake up in closets, and i will never wake up in a closet again, unless i am a poor starving artist and i can't afford anything but renting our my rich friend's walk in closet. drugs are bad, especially crack. andrew also believes drugs are bad. perhaps even more so than i. socially i am quite happy. everything will be much more normal next quarter with candace, paula, and jon (!!! he better!!!) back in chicago. candace will take good care of me. life is looking optimistic in other aspects of my social life as well... optimistic, happy and healthy. also, i am staying warm. although i do sleep with the window open no mattr how cold it is outside. is that unhealthy? it helps me sleep more comfortably, as i think i have hot flashes often otherwise. i swear too much, but i am trying to cut back. sometimes i stay up all night because i like to take my time on papers, and i like to procrastinate a little but too. but this quarter i do not have 8:30 classes, so i will not have such poor and unhealthy sleep patterns. and i love my parents.

last coat of paint tomorrow! (mark my words...)
why have the majoirty of my friends since i went to college all been older than me, specifically older than 21? hmph. stupid america.
oh winter break... you are slipping away so quickly.
oh new years? what am i doing new years eve? i do not know. ("what are you doing new year's eve? (that wa ssupposed to be sung, liek teh song)

oh epds. you will be the death of me.

Test Results

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

she knew

so my mom knew i came in at 4:15 this morning. however, she did not know that this was not the first time. well, now she does. she did not care though, she was just a bit worried. but she always is. i have decided i do not think i like going to bed at 6 am. i am missing all the morning cartoons by waking up so late. maybe i soul just not go to bed until 10 am, then i would get all the good cartoons. hmm, now there is a theory.
i got a new phone today.
news flash: my mom just told me a guy was murdered behind my grandparents house a week ago or so. whoa. i guess two guys wearing ski masks shot the guy that lives there in his back yard, twice. once in the face, once in the shoulder. oh yeah, also, my grandparents house is two streets over from mine, so like, less than a half mile. i guess they were robbing him.
yes, this is somewhat disturbing to me, since i live in like a model suburbian neighborhood with a bit of a rural accent. i dont lock my car. i dont lock my house. welp, i guess i'm dumb.
so about the phone. my other one was broke. perhaps from that time last halloween when joe and i were walking down 55th (lucy and ricky were actually walking down 55th) cause we needed to go to walgreens, well actually i needed to go to walgreens, but everyone voted that it was in my best interest due to my state by that time to have an escort. i agreed. anyway, due to that state, i may have droppped my phone. and in my efforts to pick it up, i may have kicked it almost a whoel block. or it could have been one of the oter six million times similar incidenst occured in similar circumstances. my new phone is dark gray, but the samw phone. it really awesome, i like it better. i have to program all my numbers back in. i have 72 numbers to put back in. we all know i do not have 72 friends. well some people have more than one number to their name, so that may account for some of the highness of that number. perhaps i will just put in the people i actually care to call and if others call me i will store their number when the times comes.
i am going shopping with my grandma on saturday. i am happy about this.
i went shopping tonight. i got a red peacoat. i am happy about this.
in addition to our new refrigerator, stove/double oven/microwave, and dishwasher that arrived right before thanksgiving, today we got our new granite countertops, new sink, and new cabinet unit in place of the old desk/cabinet area next to the fridge, it's a monstrous pantry. the center island counter is now a tably-barstool area as well. it doesnt really look like our kicchen at all anymore. especially once she paints it and perhaps gets a new kitchen table. we could use some new curtains as well. it's really quite beautiful right now though.
i put two coats of paint on today. one more, and maybe two is definitely in order. who ever let me paint my room dark purple and blue in forst place? gurr. stupid me. the "orange peel" is quite happy and cheery, fyi.

tomorrow is WEDNESDAY!


also, when i do stream of conscious blogging, my blogs are really long.
clearly.

curfew?

there was a time when i had a 12:30 curfew. now i take it upon myself to make sure i am home before my dad gets home, at 4:30 ish. and even that has proved itself to be difficult on more than one occasion now. perhaps if andrew was not nocturnal, we might attempt to hang out before 10 or 11 pm. but maybe not. its not a bad thing, the world is much more peaceful at four in the morning, and getting from one place to another is much quicker with all the blinking yelllow lights.
it was a nice night... we played pool (surprise surprise)... and i won 5 games to 4, winning myself the title of "the best." creative, yes. i met jj finally tonight. jj must hav ethought i was the devil for like 20 minutes. he just barked and growled at me as soon as i walked in the door. and he was liek genuinely afraid of me... but then i held the sweater, and i guess you just can't hold the sweater and not be a friendly person. then he wouldn't leave me alone, which i didn't mind, he is incredibly adorable. certainly up there with my doggies.
speaking of hobby lobby, i need to go there, i think i am going wednesday with my mom to pick out a new caddy and brushes for christmas... and i need a canvas to get started on the painting i want to do for my soon-to-be renovated bedroom. i suppose i should look into fabric and what not as well, as my bedding and curtains may need a 180 as well. oh hobby lobby, how i love thee.
ceiling is done, and the walls have there first coat of "orange peel" on them. not as awful of a color as it sounds. quite pleasant, my room is like a whole new place... so happy. i hate doing the ceiling seam, fyi. i think it will need three coats total. who knows, i have enough paint to do four, so i might just do it for teh joy of painting. if my arms haven't fallen off yet.
apparently i did not come off in a postive manner last night. however, it was meant as quite the opposite. i was actually feeeling, while quite solemn and tranquil, very optimistic and generally happy. or at least not sad. and that is not negative. that is postive.
my dad finally got home now, i hope there was a enough space for my mom not to notice that i got home at the same time virtually as him...
meh.

proofs

clearly life without school is too good. My poor sister however has to spend hours working out logic proofs (which I seem to have forgotten how to do, but at least I tried). I spent an hour at hobby lobby today looking at fabric...and I'm sure life in Kalamazoo is probably just as wonderful. It's also kind of fun to think about everyone still having finals...until you think about school until June. Oh well, I think we all enjoy it. One of my roommates is 20...that's right, one third of us are no longer teenagers. I know Ashley already said that, but I feel it must be reiterated...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADELEINE! I wonder if madeleine reads this. Hmmm... Today was the first day of sunshine in quite some time in Nebraska...but with it came the FREAKING COLD! It's like 20 degrees outside. With Spain and South America, I may just die the second I land at o'hare. Yikes. Oh well, our lovely apartment with the lovely year-round Christmas tree will be nice and cozy. I love my roommates.

waking up after noon

the bedroom in the basement rocks. pink foam mattresses on top of a real bed? i couldnt ask for more. i would have slept for six more hours, but my dad was drilling in the kitchen when i came upstairs, and that was interesting.
mmm, sooo sore from yesterday... must get back to it...

oh what a day of being a hermit will do to you!

when you spend all day by yourself, listening to music, painting your room, you have a lot of time to think. the last time i painted all day by myself in a room was for my aunt y in september. i would say today was much different thoughts than then. i am not really sure if i got anywhere today, but it was not a bad day of thinking. i mean, it may have been rough, but life isn't easy, and life will go on regardless of how much you wish it wouldn't or you can't imagine the point to it doing so. like i once wrote to get into this damn university, everything happens for a reason. nothing happens that wasn't suppose to, no matter how much you feel like you fucked up a situation. Contemplating my life was not easy a year ago, and it is certainly no less difficult today, but for once i feel like i've learned something and changed for the better. things finally clicked recently that should hve clicked long ago. but sometimes learning the hard way is the only real way to learn anything at all. the last time i painted this room, fall of junior year, i had not yet even begun to understanding what really living life was all about. i didn't know what it was like to really feel anyhing at all... i mean, going to meijer at midnight with thomas to return cans inorder to buy another gallon of paint is indeed a fun time... but really... i suppose i wouldn't mind going back to that night and trying to take stab at the last three years again, but i never would, even if i got to keep all the knowledge and memories i now have. sometimes i feel like in three years i have experienced things it takes others fifteen years to experience. it's not something i'm happy about. today i had my hair pulled half up and straightened out, that in combination with my long forgotten natural hair color made me appear so young... younger than i have looked in years. i loved it. i felt sixteen.
but then, as i the day wore on, i think i finally got around to this whole everything happens for a reason theory again. and it's a goo dthing to go on. while it didn't stop tears or quell my urge to scream and kick, it did make me feel much calmer and optimistic as i sat in the living room working on my still life tonight (which i fixed in such a seriouldy wonderfully way... i almost like it!!!). overall, while it was a tough day, i am looking forward to a few more of them this week. and i think i'm getting somewhere. and lindsey and i are going to go so a movie wednesday, so that makes me happy. and i am going to play pool with andrew tomorrow, and maybe even meet jj, and that makes me happy. maddy is 20 today, and that makes me feel old, but happy. happy birthday maddy :) . and friday is kamsc alumni day, and that makes me happy. and you know what else? chris seems to be happy, or at least more optimistic than in quite sometime, and that makes me happy.

mmmmmmmmm

there's nothin like waking up to the smell of peanut brittle in the making...
:)
a good day indeed.

tear it apart and start again

ok, so i may have been "inspired" to clean(i.e. end up just reading and laughing/crying) out the email situation... goes with the theme of the whole room redoing... right? anyway, in teh midst of many emails that were less than healthy, i found some god damn hysterical interchanges. which i atttempted to post here, but as the extensive exchnge went on it got a bit too personal, and made an appropiateness decision. a good one.
i really want to vomit right now.
not because of the fumes.
or the massive amounts of food.
fuck.

grand theft auto

apparently leaving your brother who had his car stolen stranded in chicago is the eighth deadly sin....
home life is fun.
luckily, i was gone all day. having a splendid afternoon/evening.
mmmmm... now that the food is being digested i can be happy about how good it was.
negin claims oceans twelve to be a terrible terrible movie. however, julia roberts, catherine zzeta jones, matt damon, brad pitt, and george clooney for two hours? five amazingly hott people, yeah, it cannot be too terrible. i enjoyed it. not as much as eleven, but i enjoyed it nontheless. i may have even seen eleven in the theaters as well. it was probably before i started boycotting the movies (theater) just to be annoying and piss joey off. sometimes i admit things much later becaus ei think valid time has lapsed but somethings like that i should just keep locked up forever. cause those are the types of behaviors that get you into hell. i don't even remember what my reasoning was anymore. oh, i think its tarted during my mono phase (first, CLEARLY) when i couldnt stay awake long enough to watch a whole movie.... yeah, there is like a three month span in which i probably watched the fist half of about 25 movies, and not the last half. maybe we shouldnt have watched movies so often. but there was no point in doing anything else. oh man was that a rough patch... one of many i suppose. not all due to the movie theatre thing. hahaha. taht would have been awful of me. it was because of god damn mock trial. i spent liek every spare hour in meetings or at the courthouse doing scrimmages for like three months straight... oh mock. how my life would be different without it.
clearly.


sigh. so maybe blogging more was not a good idea after all.


i'm in the process of taking goo from stars off my wall.
i'm not sure what is going to make me lose my sentimentaily to the room first, the fumes from the oops! stuff, or the detsruction of the room itself.

oh my!

It appears i left out the fact that my brother's car was stolen yesterday. and i watched it go by standing on the corner of 55th and lake.

opening lines of my top 2 stories this week:
"so i woke up in a closet..."
"so i saw my brother's car being stolen..."

knowing the recent chains of blogging, well, this is when i stop using the web for awhile.

walgreens

walgreens pharmacy online is like the best thing since sliced bread.

now when did you last let your heart decide?

oh december 9th. you make me laugh. so do drunk dials from long lost people who share/lack a fondness of december 9th with you. i am laughing. heartily.
i really was. i am laughing even harder at negin though.

"he always comes in here looking for me lately when he's drunk"
"well ashley, you do have a vagina you know" (negin)

also. candace comes tomorrow, have i mentioned that? well, she is.
i abondoned the movie marathon when it got to be 500 degrees in he lounge.

i can show you the world... shining, shimmering, splendid...
tell me, princees, now when did you last let your heart decide?
...no one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming...

and no, i am not trying to make aladdin profound. i just enjoy it.
i mean, when i say things as profund as "this movie... it just keep... it just keep turning!"
this was me conveying my clearly profound feelings towards almost famous as it neared the end. it truly is quite the plot twister.

also, walgreens is a bitch.

rodrigo santoro

that is all.

public notice

for those of you who are entirely random people, who like to correct spelling, i made the claim long ago that i would be spelling "uber" like "oober" because i have that right.
that is all.

sure, i turned off the christmas tree lights last night because they are a fire hazard... but is a burning candle really all that risky? it's in a glass jar for pete's sake... and now the room smells wonderful... i mean, i certainly think it was a perfectly fine "decision."

so I told a friendly star the way that dreamers often do...

my amazingly fabulous and oober awesome plans:
...sleep until noon whenwill and michla lynn's 24 hour dudley house movie marathon begins... clean the apartment during a movie i dont care to see, or to stay awake... starting packing around noon on friday when the marathon is over... and wait for candace's arrival!!

what a day.

i had a very loooong afternooon. searching for a goat in chicago is tough. a fake goat. a stuffed goat. actually, any kind of goat would have probably sufficed the longer my search went on. I also wasnt just searching for a goat. however, i think i had a really weird and/or bitchy look on my face all day... i started out on the north side and when i was at the pier1 in old town this guy that worked there, actually everyone that worked there was really weird to me. and the whole day was kind of like that. i found a mini-goat, and i found the body butter stuff i needed. both were found in the west suburbs however. spending so much time there today made me question my enthusiasm for returning home... i do not think i enjoy the suburbs as much i like to tell myself. it is kind of dull. i mean, well, i dont know. it just wasnt setting right today. but the whole day was kind of weird. i mean, the shopping half. i have been up since 6, and i got 2 hours of sleep. so my morning kind of feels seperate from my afternoon. i really wish i would have been smart and gone straight to the suburbs and therefore have skipped my visit to old town. it didn't help. by any means. plus i had to use a surcharge atm today. that sucked. seriously.
BLAGH!! that is how i feel. i just want to go to bed. but i dont really feel like waking up right now. i dont really feel like sleeping though either. and im having like hot flashes or something. i should have hung out with suman tonight.
urgh. and i have to clean this whole damn apartment so candace doesn't think we don't want her here when she comes. cause right now she doesnt have any space really.
can i scream? i would like to scream right now.
oh man. sometimes songs come on at just the right time. that was almost creepy. like the second i started to breath in to scream this song came on. a good song. a song that has never ceased to hold happy memories... there are few songs i can say that for anymore it seems sometimes.
oh geez. now i just realized something else. fuck december.
except jesus. i love jesus. jesus is the man.
i fear that attempted recovery only damned me to hell sooner.
time to go bother people who still have work to do.

school's out for summer! (or december, we'll see)

cova project? done.
sosc paper? done.
bio final? done.
polisci paper? DONE.
fall quarter? give me a D... give me an O...

this is me happy.
this is me getting to go home in a few days.
this is me having three days of relaxing in chicago.
this is me veerrry happy.

i guess i could put a picture of me being happy right here. but we've all seen me smile plenty.

one last thing!

so that didnt go so bad after all... i would almost say it went well... whoa.
fluffin up the paper and then ima goin shoppin.

You scored as Upper middle Class. Your determination have soared you this high, yet not high enough to enjoy the luxuries of the upper class. Your most valued posession is your country club membership which is kept framed in the office. Upper middle Class 88% Middle Class 67% alternative 62% Luxurious Upper Class 38% Lower Class 38% What Social Status are you? created with QuizFarm.com

this was my study break.

smashley marie (3:20:19 AM): you interrupted "dancin in the moonlight"
AndyA5410 (3:20:41 AM): my sincerest apologies
smashley marie (3:20:43 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (3:23:08 AM): its kind of creepy how not tired i am
smashley marie (3:23:17 AM): like usually when i lay my head down i instantly doze off
smashley marie (3:23:22 AM): i tried for ike 10 min
smashley marie (3:23:24 AM): nothin'
AndyA5410 (3:24:03 AM): oh dear
AndyA5410 (3:24:06 AM): do not sleep there
smashley marie (3:24:46 AM): huh?
smashley marie (3:24:59 AM): i always nap in liek five minute inervals here
AndyA5410 (3:26:33 AM): well, congratulations
smashley marie (3:26:51 AM): what?
smashley marie (3:27:01 AM): are you on crack again?
AndyA5410 (3:27:37 AM): i never got off
smashley marie (3:27:50 AM): oh ok
smashley marie (3:27:58 AM): also
smashley marie (3:28:00 AM): nevermind
smashley marie (3:29:29 AM): for some reason i was just surprised by the fact that i did not ahve any new emails in the last hour
smashley marie (3:29:36 AM): i guess some peopel sleep
AndyA5410 (3:29:48 AM): sleep?
smashley marie (3:30:33 AM): i know its a foreign concept
smashley marie (3:30:51 AM): also
smashley marie (3:30:52 AM): big news
smashley marie (3:30:57 AM): i started writing!!!!
smashley marie (3:31:04 AM): i only have two sentence smind you
smashley marie (3:31:14 AM): two sentences that will prbably be edited out by the final draft
smashley marie (3:31:20 AM): but thats not important
AndyA5410 (3:31:41 AM): not at all
smashley marie (3:32:32 AM): brb
smashley marie (3:35:32 AM): i am here
smashley marie (3:36:02 AM): now she is telling fithawee to be quiet
smashley marie (3:36:07 AM): (the nazi)
smashley marie (3:36:31 AM): shes nuts
smashley marie (3:37:46 AM): so i only can have one headphone in, becaus ei lost the pad that covers by other one a week or two ago and it is really begining to be painful to have it in
AndyA5410 (3:37:58 AM): who is fithawee
smashley marie (3:38:09 AM): a guy i know
AndyA5410 (3:38:12 AM): besides looking ghetto
smashley marie (3:38:17 AM): he lived in my old room teh year before me with steven
AndyA5410 (3:38:31 AM): what was he doing?
AndyA5410 (3:38:38 AM): bud
smashley marie (3:38:39 AM): just laughing
AndyA5410 (3:38:43 AM): i was talking about your headphones
smashley marie (3:38:51 AM): hahahahaha
smashley marie (3:39:06 AM): and you cant tell when they are in
AndyA5410 (3:40:05 AM): also
AndyA5410 (3:40:26 AM): you have not updated for over 13 hours
AndyA5410 (3:40:30 AM): UNACCEPTABLE
AndyA5410 (3:40:32 AM): haha
AndyA5410 (3:42:46 AM): do people not watch street smarts?
AndyA5410 (3:43:01 AM): do they not know that in the first two rounds it is always one person only once
smashley marie (3:43:43 AM): haha
AndyA5410 (3:45:44 AM): i am very happy right now
smashley marie (3:45:46 AM): haha
smashley marie (3:45:50 AM): why?
AndyA5410 (3:46:02 AM): i just put the gavin degraw cd in the dvd player
AndyA5410 (3:46:05 AM): and blasting
smashley marie (3:46:08 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (3:46:11 AM): i assuem no one is home?
AndyA5410 (3:46:28 AM): obviously
smashley marie (3:46:30 AM): haha
smashley marie (3:47:01 AM): when we i pay you a half million to live with me we will be be nocturnal
smashley marie (3:47:16 AM): nighttime is more fun
AndyA5410 (3:47:43 AM): :-)
AndyA5410 (3:47:50 AM): we can go to steak and shake a lot
smashley marie (3:48:11 AM): yay
smashley marie (3:48:27 AM): we could have our own pool table
smashley marie (3:48:29 AM): outside
AndyA5410 (3:48:40 AM): i hate drew carey
smashley marie (3:48:43 AM): ?
AndyA5410 (3:48:56 AM): he did that
smashley marie (3:48:56 AM): was that as radnom as i think it is?
smashley marie (3:48:58 AM): oh ok
smashley marie (3:49:01 AM): oh yeah!
smashley marie (3:49:09 AM): theyd play in the snow
smashley marie (3:49:27 AM): we woudl clearly be in souh america wher ethere was no snow
AndyA5410 (3:49:33 AM): ah yes
AndyA5410 (3:49:37 AM): also
smashley marie (3:49:41 AM): also, i think i am the only perosn still having aim conversations to procrastinate
AndyA5410 (3:49:44 AM): i meant to put something about that in my profile
AndyA5410 (3:49:45 AM): also
AndyA5410 (3:49:56 AM): this is just a bit louder than i want it to be
AndyA5410 (3:49:57 AM): haha
smashley marie (3:49:59 AM): hahah
smashley marie (3:49:59 AM): a
AndyA5410 (3:50:15 AM): i hope that i am not keeping jj up
smashley marie (3:50:20 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (3:50:22 AM): me too
AndyA5410 (3:51:03 AM): i was just dancing
smashley marie (3:51:12 AM): good to know
smashley marie (3:51:15 AM): i was not
smashley marie (3:51:17 AM): fyi
AndyA5410 (3:52:31 AM): do you think the nazi would tell you to stop dancing?
smashley marie (3:52:50 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (3:53:02 AM): tim was dancing earlier and she did not
AndyA5410 (3:53:03 AM): also
smashley marie (3:53:10 AM): but if she didnt like me, the maybe
smashley marie (3:53:14 AM): as long as i was quite
smashley marie (3:53:16 AM): et
AndyA5410 (3:53:16 AM): what kind of job is it to work at this time of night at the reg?
smashley marie (3:53:21 AM): a shitty one
AndyA5410 (3:53:31 AM): what am i talking about?
AndyA5410 (3:53:34 AM): i would probably do it
smashley marie (3:53:36 AM): hahaha
AndyA5410 (3:53:44 AM): and i would come to it straight from the bar
smashley marie (3:53:52 AM): hahahaha
AndyA5410 (3:53:59 AM): and then go around and be like guuuuyyyyssss, quiet! shhhhhhhhh
AndyA5410 (3:54:05 AM): and then stumble away
smashley marie (3:54:26 AM): hahahaha
AndyA5410 (3:56:50 AM): my favorite song is next
AndyA5410 (4:02:55 AM): you think your name is pass the joint
smashley marie (4:03:19 AM): yes i do
smashley marie (4:03:42 AM): epds
smashley marie (4:06:15 AM): i am back
AndyA5410 (4:07:24 AM): i am on the floor
AndyA5410 (4:07:28 AM): and have been
smashley marie (4:07:29 AM): haha
AndyA5410 (4:07:30 AM): that is all
smashley marie (4:07:52 AM): also, i hate all of our god damn auto flush toilets on our campus
smashley marie (4:08:15 AM): nt only do they always scare me but there seeing eye sucks
smashley marie (4:08:20 AM): their
AndyA5410 (4:09:28 AM): i love urinals like that
AndyA5410 (4:09:35 AM): i really do not use the toilets
smashley marie (4:10:16 AM): the ones in ratner still scare me to this day
smashley marie (4:10:23 AM): they like are magical
smashley marie (4:10:30 AM): they know liek the second you stop peeing
AndyA5410 (4:11:46 AM): well miss boven
AndyA5410 (4:12:01 AM): i think that i am going to play one or two more games but then go to bed
smashley marie (4:12:09 AM): alright mr andrew
AndyA5410 (4:12:22 AM): pssst, that is not my last name
AndyA5410 (4:12:23 AM): also
smashley marie (4:12:24 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:12:31 AM): i know, i always do it opposite
smashley marie (4:12:39 AM): sometimes you say miss ashley
AndyA5410 (4:12:43 AM): when i say miss ashley, sometimes i feel like a large black woman servant
smashley marie (4:12:44 AM): and i say mmr alexander
smashley marie (4:12:47 AM): hahahahahahaha
smashley marie (4:12:54 AM): hahahahahaha
smashley marie (4:12:57 AM): shit
smashley marie (4:12:59 AM): nazi lady
smashley marie (4:13:05 AM): must stop laughing
AndyA5410 (4:13:16 AM): did she say something to you?
smashley marie (4:13:18 AM): no
smashley marie (4:13:24 AM): but i am definitely laughing
smashley marie (4:13:26 AM): loud
AndyA5410 (4:13:30 AM): but she has instilled the fear of God in you
smashley marie (4:13:32 AM): i have stoppped
smashley marie (4:13:52 AM): nazi's will do that
smashley marie (4:13:57 AM): nazis
smashley marie (4:14:05 AM): nazii?
AndyA5410 (4:14:05 AM): excuse me, miss ashley, what would like for breakfast this mornin
smashley marie (4:14:12 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:14:43 AM): i wish i some of my friends were still left here, speaking of breakfats, cause then we could go out for breakfast
smashley marie (4:14:54 AM): but i am going to go home in awhile
AndyA5410 (4:15:00 AM): phew
smashley marie (4:15:06 AM): no point relaly
AndyA5410 (4:15:08 AM): when are you going to start working on it tomorrow?
smashley marie (4:15:12 AM): hoepfully tenish
AndyA5410 (4:15:15 AM): oh dear
AndyA5410 (4:15:22 AM): when is it due on wednesday?
smashley marie (4:15:25 AM): i have all my bio studying to do
smashley marie (4:15:27 AM): 3
AndyA5410 (4:15:31 AM): ah
smashley marie (4:15:32 AM): bio final at 8
AndyA5410 (4:15:33 AM): what time is your final?
AndyA5410 (4:15:36 AM): well
AndyA5410 (4:15:41 AM): this will be interesting
AndyA5410 (4:15:43 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:15:45 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:15:47 AM): indeed
smashley marie (4:15:59 AM): i figured i should deprve myself of sleep tonight rathe rthan tomorrow
AndyA5410 (4:16:05 AM): right
AndyA5410 (4:16:06 AM): also
AndyA5410 (4:16:25 AM): what are the requirements for this paper? 15+
smashley marie (4:16:35 AM): 15 precisely
AndyA5410 (4:16:39 AM): oh dear
smashley marie (4:16:42 AM): so i guess you might say 14 - 16?
AndyA5410 (4:16:47 AM): hahahahaha
AndyA5410 (4:16:48 AM): oh dear
AndyA5410 (4:17:03 AM): ok
AndyA5410 (4:17:10 AM): well i should go
smashley marie (4:17:12 AM): ok
smashley marie (4:17:18 AM): dont have fucked up dreams
smashley marie (4:17:24 AM): i dont liek dead charlies
AndyA5410 (4:17:27 AM): good luck tomorrow, hopefully you will have accomplished much by the time i wake up
smashley marie (4:17:31 AM): who would i be entertained by in the reg?
AndyA5410 (4:17:43 AM): bud, it is not your friend charlie
smashley marie (4:17:47 AM): hahahaha
smashley marie (4:17:50 AM): CLEARLY
AndyA5410 (4:17:54 AM): so i think you would be fine
smashley marie (4:18:07 AM): also
smashley marie (4:18:23 AM): have i mentioned the u of c and girls with large asses correlation?
AndyA5410 (4:18:28 AM): yes
AndyA5410 (4:18:32 AM): erin paige
smashley marie (4:18:34 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:18:36 AM): right
smashley marie (4:18:44 AM): her mom wasnt home
AndyA5410 (4:18:48 AM): oh dear
AndyA5410 (4:19:06 AM): well i do not know how much money they have
smashley marie (4:19:14 AM): well they were in teh lybunts
AndyA5410 (4:19:27 AM): but if you took her car and the fact that she goes to u of c, i would say a lot
smashley marie (4:19:35 AM): hahaa
smashley marie (4:19:41 AM): i am not rich
smashley marie (4:19:43 AM): and i go here
smashley marie (4:19:46 AM): but my car
smashley marie (4:19:46 AM): haha
AndyA5410 (4:19:50 AM): exactly
smashley marie (4:19:50 AM): is covered in bird poop
AndyA5410 (4:19:52 AM): i was just typing that
AndyA5410 (4:19:55 AM): not that
AndyA5410 (4:19:56 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:19:57 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:20:03 AM): shit
smashley marie (4:20:05 AM): im laughing again
AndyA5410 (4:20:05 AM): but i mean the whole personalize license plate and all that
AndyA5410 (4:20:11 AM): d
AndyA5410 (4:20:18 AM): it just reeked of daddy
smashley marie (4:20:22 AM): hahaa
smashley marie (4:20:27 AM): reeked?
smashley marie (4:20:36 AM): oh i gues staht works
smashley marie (4:20:43 AM): i was going to correct your verb tense
smashley marie (4:20:50 AM): but i forget se isin your past
smashley marie (4:20:51 AM): well
smashley marie (4:20:53 AM): not really
smashley marie (4:20:57 AM): we did see her at circuit city
smashley marie (4:21:03 AM): just the other day
smashley marie (4:21:11 AM): so maybe reeks would be more apporopiate
AndyA5410 (4:21:16 AM): eat a dick
smashley marie (4:21:27 AM): i dont think tahtw as necessary
AndyA5410 (4:21:29 AM): when i saw it, it reeked of daddy
AndyA5410 (4:21:42 AM): you cannot correct tense in such a situation
smashley marie (4:21:45 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:21:47 AM): it works
smashley marie (4:21:51 AM): that is pleasing to me
AndyA5410 (4:21:51 AM): that is asinine
smashley marie (4:22:02 AM): eeyrthing is asinine
smashley marie (4:22:04 AM): also
AndyA5410 (4:22:12 AM): mostly you, that is what i learned
smashley marie (4:22:13 AM): i don't have thsi whoel conversation
smashley marie (4:22:19 AM): but i may blog what i do have
AndyA5410 (4:22:28 AM): oh dear
smashley marie (4:22:29 AM): just to warn you
smashley marie (4:22:30 AM): you know
AndyA5410 (4:22:32 AM): ok
smashley marie (4:22:32 AM): copyrights
AndyA5410 (4:22:36 AM): that is fine
smashley marie (4:22:38 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:22:43 AM): also
smashley marie (4:22:49 AM): there is a whore in my line of sight
AndyA5410 (4:23:02 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:23:07 AM): she came in and liek pulled her shirt down and like clearly purposefully became slutty
AndyA5410 (4:23:19 AM): like bared cleavage?
smashley marie (4:23:30 AM): yes, and shoulde, neck, etc
AndyA5410 (4:23:31 AM): it is too early for cleavage
smashley marie (4:23:34 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:23:37 AM): its 4:30 am
AndyA5410 (4:23:45 AM): well that is 5:30 here
smashley marie (4:23:48 AM): or you mean season wise?
AndyA5410 (4:24:04 AM): i am thinking eggs, not milk
smashley marie (4:24:04 AM): do youwait to show cleavage for santa?
smashley marie (4:24:13 AM): or jesus i guess
AndyA5410 (4:24:25 AM): i am talking about the time
smashley marie (4:24:29 AM): ok
AndyA5410 (4:24:33 AM): realize i am in the eastern time zone
AndyA5410 (4:24:41 AM): people are waking up for work
AndyA5410 (4:24:49 AM): the bus will be passing by in about an hour
smashley marie (4:25:00 AM): good ol et
smashley marie (4:25:06 AM): where the sun always shines
smashley marie (4:25:09 AM): haaha
AndyA5410 (4:25:10 AM): indeed
smashley marie (4:25:14 AM): i dont relly knwo why is aid that
AndyA5410 (4:25:21 AM): because you are crazy
smashley marie (4:25:22 AM): home can be the pennsylvania turnpike
smashley marie (4:25:33 AM): home is just another word for you
smashley marie (4:25:34 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:25:35 AM): oh man
smashley marie (4:25:38 AM): i love the man
AndyA5410 (4:25:38 AM): oh dear
AndyA5410 (4:26:07 AM): i do not like song 11
smashley marie (4:26:10 AM): there is a whoel chapter on billy joel too
AndyA5410 (4:26:12 AM): there are only 11 songs
smashley marie (4:26:17 AM): if i didnt tell you that the otehr day
AndyA5410 (4:26:22 AM): you did not
smashley marie (4:26:27 AM): its fabulous
AndyA5410 (4:26:28 AM): how many chapters are in this book?
smashley marie (4:26:30 AM): i dunno
AndyA5410 (4:26:33 AM): it seems quite lengthy
smashley marie (4:26:35 AM): im liek a third i think
smashley marie (4:26:38 AM): no
smashley marie (4:26:41 AM): its not
smashley marie (4:26:45 AM): chpters arent long
smashley marie (4:26:46 AM): i mean
AndyA5410 (4:26:48 AM): well than it has short chapters
smashley marie (4:26:48 AM): tey arent short
smashley marie (4:26:52 AM): hahaha
AndyA5410 (4:26:56 AM): hmm
AndyA5410 (4:27:07 AM): it will not go from the end of the cd to the first song
smashley marie (4:27:15 AM): bummer dude
smashley marie (4:27:16 AM): hahaha
AndyA5410 (4:27:18 AM): there is no medium when it comes to chapters
smashley marie (4:27:20 AM): i love saying that now
AndyA5410 (4:27:21 AM): think about it
AndyA5410 (4:27:35 AM): you either look at it and say, oh this is short, SWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT
AndyA5410 (4:27:41 AM): or, FUCK this is LONG
smashley marie (4:27:47 AM): umm
smashley marie (4:27:51 AM): yes
AndyA5410 (4:28:08 AM): you don't go oh my word, well, i'll be, this is just so medium length
smashley marie (4:28:08 AM): also
smashley marie (4:28:16 AM): it is really hot in this place
smashley marie (4:28:18 AM): like whoa
smashley marie (4:28:22 AM): hahahahaha
AndyA5410 (4:28:25 AM): bummer dude
smashley marie (4:28:30 AM): ill be jiggered
smashley marie (4:28:49 AM): arg this guy keeps looking up at the sametime as me
AndyA5410 (4:28:53 AM): hopefully cleavage girl doesn't get too hot and start to disrobe
smashley marie (4:28:55 AM): its really making me seem creepy
smashley marie (4:28:59 AM): or maybe he feels creepy to me
smashley marie (4:29:09 AM): hahahaha
smashley marie (4:29:23 AM): the guy across from her i do not tink could handle it
AndyA5410 (4:29:29 AM): oh dear
smashley marie (4:29:32 AM): he doesnt look liek he has really ever touched a bra even
AndyA5410 (4:29:36 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:29:42 AM): but then again
AndyA5410 (4:29:47 AM): and what does that look like
smashley marie (4:29:51 AM): i would say that for liek 60 percent of the guys at this school
smashley marie (4:29:58 AM): so basically
smashley marie (4:30:08 AM): 1 out of 2 guys you pass on campus
smashley marie (4:30:12 AM): that is what that looks like
AndyA5410 (4:30:29 AM): well, i have only seen the soccer team and they look like they touch a lot of bras
smashley marie (4:30:36 AM): hahaha
smashley marie (4:30:48 AM): the soccer team doesnt wear pants that are too short
smashley marie (4:31:06 AM): and shhirts from when they were in middle school, or maybe even early high school years
smashley marie (4:31:41 AM): or have te same haircut as they did then as well
smashley marie (4:31:46 AM): well thats not necessarily true
smashley marie (4:31:55 AM): some people dont really have chice when it come sto hair
AndyA5410 (4:32:02 AM): like your brother
smashley marie (4:32:06 AM): right
AndyA5410 (4:32:14 AM): but, i really do not either
smashley marie (4:32:20 AM): i mean, your haircut would also have been an acceptable longstanding haircut
AndyA5410 (4:32:21 AM): past a certain point it gets very fluffy
smashley marie (4:32:22 AM): right
smashley marie (4:32:26 AM): indeed
smashley marie (4:32:40 AM): but fluffiness is a virtue
AndyA5410 (4:32:41 AM): and i will not get highlights or anything of the such
smashley marie (4:32:44 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:32:57 AM): i am imagini you with highlights
AndyA5410 (4:32:57 AM): only when mom has leftover product
smashley marie (4:33:11 AM): you died all of your hair then
AndyA5410 (4:33:15 AM): right
AndyA5410 (4:33:19 AM): it was lighter
smashley marie (4:33:19 AM): dyed
AndyA5410 (4:33:24 AM): yes
AndyA5410 (4:33:32 AM): my hair in fact was already dead
smashley marie (4:33:40 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:33:45 AM): also
smashley marie (4:34:13 AM): oh nevermind
AndyA5410 (4:34:17 AM): no
AndyA5410 (4:34:20 AM): that is not allowed
smashley marie (4:34:48 AM): i was going to ask you if i told you that i told like everyon ei worked with that i woke up in a closet in a foreign pink shirt
smashley marie (4:34:53 AM): and then i was like
smashley marie (4:34:54 AM): oh yes
smashley marie (4:34:55 AM): i did
smashley marie (4:35:05 AM): so then i was like
smashley marie (4:35:07 AM): oh nevermind
smashley marie (4:35:10 AM): and that got sent to you
smashley marie (4:35:14 AM): if you recall
AndyA5410 (4:35:23 AM): indeed
AndyA5410 (4:35:28 AM): but do not say oh nevermind
AndyA5410 (4:35:36 AM): because that sounds like you are like ohh, nevermind
smashley marie (4:35:36 AM): no "oh" next time?
AndyA5410 (4:35:43 AM): or
AndyA5410 (4:35:46 AM): oh, i already told you
smashley marie (4:35:50 AM): hmm
smashley marie (4:35:53 AM): thats acceptable
smashley marie (4:36:54 AM): ok bud
smashley marie (4:37:00 AM): its work/sleep time
AndyA5410 (4:37:01 AM): indeed
smashley marie (4:37:11 AM): i will talk to youtomorrow most surely
smashley marie (4:37:22 AM): most surely?
smashley marie (4:37:25 AM): meh
AndyA5410 (4:37:25 AM): if you do not, there is some sort of world problem
smashley marie (4:37:28 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:37:31 AM): that is very true
smashley marie (4:37:42 AM): perhaps the egg supply was destoyed
AndyA5410 (4:37:51 AM): when did we start talking everyday i wonder?
smashley marie (4:37:51 AM): anyway
smashley marie (4:37:55 AM): hmmm
smashley marie (4:37:59 AM): good question
smashley marie (4:38:01 AM): olympics
smashley marie (4:38:02 AM): haha
AndyA5410 (4:38:03 AM): thank you
AndyA5410 (4:38:14 AM): well, i suppose we could take out your vacation
AndyA5410 (4:38:16 AM): from hell
AndyA5410 (4:38:18 AM): hahahaha
AndyA5410 (4:38:19 AM): oh dear
AndyA5410 (4:38:21 AM): well
smashley marie (4:38:24 AM): hahaahah
smashley marie (4:38:26 AM): oh man
AndyA5410 (4:38:32 AM): you do realize there was a hurricane?
smashley marie (4:38:37 AM): hahaha
AndyA5410 (4:38:38 AM): and other things
smashley marie (4:38:39 AM): yes, yes indeed
AndyA5410 (4:39:04 AM): oh dear, i have to buy presents
AndyA5410 (4:39:06 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:39:10 AM): shit!
AndyA5410 (4:39:11 AM): i do not know why i thought of that
AndyA5410 (4:39:14 AM): well yes i do
smashley marie (4:39:26 AM): argh
smashley marie (4:39:27 AM): ok
smashley marie (4:39:30 AM): now i have to get this done
AndyA5410 (4:39:34 AM): ok
smashley marie (4:39:37 AM): caus ei have to go sopping
smashley marie (4:39:41 AM): or shopping
AndyA5410 (4:39:43 AM): not tomorrow
smashley marie (4:39:43 AM): you choose
smashley marie (4:39:46 AM): yes tomorrow
AndyA5410 (4:39:49 AM): why?
smashley marie (4:39:49 AM): we are doing it wednesday
AndyA5410 (4:39:52 AM): secret santa
AndyA5410 (4:39:54 AM): oh dear
smashley marie (4:39:54 AM): yes
AndyA5410 (4:39:56 AM): you are the worst
AndyA5410 (4:39:58 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:40:00 AM): margley
smashley marie (4:40:04 AM): haha
smashley marie (4:40:05 AM): ok
AndyA5410 (4:40:06 AM): oh dear
smashley marie (4:40:12 AM): mr sandman
AndyA5410 (4:40:15 AM): haha
AndyA5410 (4:40:25 AM): good night miss ashley
smashley marie (4:40:32 AM): good night mr alexander
smashley marie (4:40:45 AM): eat some yummy grits inthe morn

the stacks

i have been sitting in the stacks for several hours now. what ever happened to me and my reg-boycotting ways? i rarely even stepped foot in here last year... and here i sit... in the stacks of all places. i have accomplished lots. i have a bunch of reading to do still before i can start writing this damn thing, but it's coming together. slowly but surely. i have a definitive and narrow topic, all the books i need, and lots of determination. really. maybe not lots, but at least some.
the stacks are nice an quiet. and politically active as well. apparently stack dwellers like nader?
i do not.
so i picked a new spot.

oh i should get back to reading....

who sucks

mfa students suck.

Almost Famous

I just spent the last two and a half hours watching Almost Famous. and i think they were the best spent hours of my day.
have i mentioned i am so (insert f bomb here) for this polisci paper?
cause i am.
...tomorrow's another day!
(one day closer to seeing miss wang!)

my third grade classroom/foursquare court

random picture #7: the four square court outside the door of my third grade classroom where we listened to jermiah was a bullfrog and played four square constantly.this was taken last friday. the wall on the left is where i stepped on tara's lunch box and spilled milk in it which cause ashley reece to chase me around the playground and resulted in her digging her nails into my arm, leaving me with what was my only scare up until recent years, and drawing plenty of blood. this is also where we stood and watched the solar eclipse in third grade with teh special glasses. but we were poor, and had only one pair, so we had to go out one at a time. the bench on the right was also used for time outs. i wasnlt there very often. i was inside writing spelling lists for talking to much. imagine that.

maddy and i walked down the street in these at 2am last night. we are santa.

our christmas tree. lacking in ornaments, but cheerful nontheless.

"ashley, by any chance do you know what happened to my closet?"

so, i wrote my sosc paper rather quickly. but i have yet to productive since. i have sat in my room next to the christmas tree watching the family man since i got home from the reg. and eating pizza. mmmmm... pizza. tastes much better than yesterday when i was afraid of even one piece staying down.
oh dear, what a weekend. so much sleep. so much craziness. bdb is no more. i have failed the boven name. well, i think i have. i don't actually recall it, but there was evidence that would lead me to believe that. evidence and hearsay is about all i have to base about 5 hours of my life on friday night. so sad. however, that is why i am going home in less than a week, and will repair my body for winter quarter in which i will have someone to stop me from being an idiot. i have wondered how this quarter has gone as it has, as far as my nights out go, and i have come to teh conclusion that i have no idea what has caused me to have so many blank nights, when i only had one in all of last year. well, i suppose part of the reason for that is my complete lack of socialness winter and spring quarter, i rarely went out i guess. this quarter i do not know if there are more than 2 friday or saturday nights in which i have not gone out. so clearly i guess that explains it. i definitely will hopefully try and cut back on this lifestyle next quarter. but candace will aid in that of course. oh dear though, i dont have friday class, that could lead to great mischief. oh i miss my calm and happy life. i really do. i am still happy. just so far from calm and mellow and eventless it is absurd. meh, like my daddy says, it's just a phase.
i secured myself a job on mackinac island over the summer if i want it, this afternoon at work, how much does that rock my socks? a lot. oh first year parents, we got along well today.
i was going to become nocturnal with andrew, since i woke up at 6pm yesterday, but i decided not to. and went to bed around 4, and then i woke up at 10:30.

so i wrote this all like 3 hours ago. and have been talking to candace ever since. so it is outdated. an im also super happy. but i will post this for now, and perhaps share my happiness later.
that is all :)

why???

i am such an idiot.

also, i now have yet a different black pea coat.

that is all.

ROAR

WHY AREN'T I WORKING??????

let 'em fall lady.

can't i just take a W for polisci?

set 'em up lady.

oh fridays. no 8:30 bio! but working all afternoon... and two papers to write still. and one final. but shopping was fun today...

it did indeed work. this is sick. i can be in line at the mall and bitch on my blog about it. i am a loser, this is clear.
have you ever drunk dialed your blog? cause i know i will.

well, i am an idiot, officially.

so, i have three coats that i most commonly wear. there is the fleece, the gray peacoat, and the black peacoat. now, due to an unfortunate incident during 10th week of fall quarter last year, at bar night, the fleece i currently own is not the fleece my grandparents gave me for christmas several years ago. some u of c girl has that fleece. and i have hers. as discussed previously, i even have discussed the matter with said girl. well last night was 10th week barnight of fall quarter. a much different night than last year i must add, but the same night neverthelesss. as may be inferred from various away messages and blogs, it was a highly entertaining evening. so this evening i was riding down the elevator on my to the reg (clearly here i sit being productive) and i look down and realize i have all the buttons on my coat. i say "ashley, that's odd." so when i get off the elevator i take of my coat (at this point the bus comes, but i do not care). i check the tag. sure enough, it does not say weathervane. it says "julia klein," where the hell do you buy julia klein? and, as i suspected, since the sleeves are very clearly too short for me, the jacket is a petite. but an extra large petite. do you know what that means? it mean it's three sizes to big for me, i could probably fit three people in there with me, and its too short in the sleeves, and butt.
what can i conlcude from all this?
well, that one year later, i am still just as much of a dumbass. perhaps more, since this time it was my fault.
who manages to do this twice??? at teh same place??? teh same time??? luckily, thank jesus, not the same jacket. then i would have to start wearing the stupid helmet.
also, it seems that a transcript of my phone conversation last night/this morning would be priceless. if only.
paper paper paper paper. i forgot all of my books to do my historiographic paper. so instead i shall write a sosc paper. just for fun.

thank goodness for tonight

thank goodness for tonight.
that was my away message last night. i really beg to differ.
i feel fine today however. and considering i was handing out "wonderful points" last night, that is saying something.
that is all. i must not procrastinate, and instead write a paper.

so that was entirely unnecessary.

i am on the last month of my dr suess calendar. this is sad news.

work, or no work? that is the question.

am i in a working mood? no. do i want to call parents again. NO. would i get homework done if i didn't go to work? no. i am so sick of spending my afternoons/evenings at the reg. would someone like to write my historiographic paper for me? its only 15 pages, i'd pay well. and could you write a sosc paper for me as well, while you're at it? something about innateness i think. meh, being on topic isnt required in my world.
if i don't work tonight i will feel kind of guilty going to bar night. i always justify it as a reward for making money. but jon won't be there either, so that is just going to be sad. and the last bar night of the quarter is always ridiculously busy. hmmm... but it has been soooo long. i will have to see what the rest of the people are up to tonight i guess.
work? no work? money? no money? christmas is coming... but considering i even have a job (as opposed to last year)... that's saying something, right? oh but italy. italy is going to drain those bank accounts. perhaps i shall get a second job next quarter. as making over a grand each quarter is helpful, but not enough with how i spend it. sad, huh? yes.
pooey. no work. i must email laurel. i must pack up and head to the reg. yuck. i'm bored with the 3rd floor. maybe i will spice up my life with the 4th floor. or maybe teh a level. or the depressing b level. so many choices. perhaps i should go where i am going to have to find my books at. that makes sense.
im very hungry.